There’s a bro code that should need no writing.  It’s an inherent understanding that’s genetically built into every dude – or at least I thought.  So, I decided to go undercover to see if the bro code is being violated and sure enough it is.  My observations not only included watching others, but, passengers violating gas station etiquette from my own vehicle.  Let’s get back on track before something horrible happens.

Here’s the deal….

One Passenger Only:

1. When a car drives up to fill gas the passenger slips the driver a few bucks – even if you’re just going down the street.  If it’s no big deal the driver will tell you to keep it.  If he really needs it, he’ll take it (Authors note: he’s not a freakin’ taxi – give the guy a few bills already).

2.      The guy sitting shotgun jumps out of the car no more than 2 seconds behind the driver and you start washing the windows – and don’t forget side mirrors.  No need to wash the inside of windows as that’s just wrong.

3.      The driver pays for the gas and needs to babysit the pump. He normally has his arms folded, he’s leaning against the car and is trying to look cool for the girl a couple of pumps away (BTW – he has no chance).

4.      After you’re done washing the windows you are to engage the driver in conversation. Stay off that stupid cell phone, no texting and for heaven’s sake don’t get back in the car.

5.      After the car is fueled you get in at the same time as the driver and you are off!

6.      If one of you has to go to the head, the driver goes first – then the passenger.  You NEVER leave the car unattended.

Multiple Passengers:

1.       When a carload of dudes stops to get gas everyone in the car ponies up to a few bucks and chips in.  None of this awkward silence thinking it’s the driver’s responsibility to haul your sorry fanny around.

2.      The guy sitting shotgun still has the responsibility of washing the windows as mentioned above.

3.      The guy(s) in the back make their way to the gas station store.  After taking two steps away from the car you ask the driver and window washer if they want anything and you buy it for them without asking for remuneration, in other words – you don’t get paid back you dufus unless they offer to give you money.

4.      When you get back with the stash you look into the car and make mention that it looks like a tornado hit it.  Ask the driver if it’s O.K. to throw the trash away.  Don’t be surprised if he says no as he might be a slob and like it that way.

5.      If Mother Nature calls you all take turns. Never, ever, never go to the John in pairs.  It’s one dude, then the next and so on. You NEVER leave the car unattended.

6.      Everybody gets in the car at the same time and you are back on your road trip.

Chick Driver

1.       Suck it up and pay for the gas, clean the windows, buy her something at the gas station store, throw away the trash, keep your mouth shut and listen to her insipid yapping how filthy the toilets were.